Cyberbullying

More and more often, school personnel are contacted by parents, asking what can be done to stop
cyberbullying in their own homes. One anti-bullying website advises, "put down the mouse and walk away, and no one will get hurt!" But the bottom line remains, you have control over your computer, and your child's computer activities, in your own home.

Numerous Web sites exist to advise parents how to safely supervise and monitor their child's Web activities, and most importantly, information their child may be transmitting, or have posted, on the web. As a parent, you need to be aware of the social networking sites and monitor any information your child may have posted there, and know the names of people they communicate with via IM's, e-mails, or postings.

Commonly visited sites are: www.facebook.com, www.myspace.com, www.friendster.com, www.webshots.com, www.livejournal.com and www.xanga.com. As a parent, you have a responsibility not only to monitor your child's Web activities, but also to set reasonable limits on the time your child spends there, to establish a healthy balance between their web surfing, academic responsibilities, and other family or social or recreational pursuits.

If you suspect your child is being cyberbullied, save all evidence (print out e-mails, IM's) and file a complaint immediately with the Internet service provider, mobile phone company, or Web site. Cyberbullying is typically
a violation of the "terms of usage." If there is any indication that your child is being threatened, contact your
local law enforcement agency. In addition, parents can:

***Place the home computer in a public area, such as the living room or den, so that you can monitor usage more closely.
***Ask your child to show you any sites s/he uses regularly, you can also check the history on the computer to see what sites s/he visits.
***Change or delete a profile or screen name that is the target of cyberbullying. Only provide the new one to
bona fide friends of your child.
*** Consider using filtering software. These programs allow you to block certain websites, control incoming/outgoing email messages, and set a limit for "online time."
***Even without software, parents need to monitor and set limits on, the amount of time their children spend in cyberspace, so that he or she engages in a healthy balance of activities.

Check out the following Web sites regularly to keep up with internet trends and safety issues:
www.safekids.com

www.filterreview.com

www.isafe.org

www.blogsafety.com

www.safeteens.com

www.projectsafekids.org

www.wiredsafety.org

www.wiredwithwisdom.org

www.stopcyberbullying.org

www.fbi.gov/innocent.htm

How common is cyberbullying?

90 percent of middle school students have had their feelings hurt online

75 percent have visited a Web site bashing another student

40 percent have had their password(s) stolen and changed by a bully who then locked them out of their own account or sent communications posing as them

Only 15 percent of parents polled could define cyberbullying

SOURCE: wiredsafety.org

What Parents Can Do

Rosalind Wiseman, educator and author of the best seller "Queen Bees & Wannabes" and "Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads," suggests the following tips for parents:

• Use technology as an opportunity to reinforce your family values. If you buy a cell phone or computer for your child, attach rules for appropriate use and consequences if these rules are broken.

• Move the computer out of your child’s bedroom and into the family room.

• Teach your child not to share passwords.

• Install monitoring and filtering software. Find free downloads at k9webprotection.com and safefamilies.org.

• Monitor your child’s screen name(s) and Web sites for inappropriate content.

• Save and print out any evidence if your child is cyberbullied. Decide together to whom you should go for additional assistance.
   

For a link to a Rosalind Wiseman interview with Matt Laurer, click here.

For a "Parenting Online" booklet from www.wiresafety.org, click here.